On June 3, 2015 my life was forever changed in a single moment. It was the end of the day and I was laying in bed getting ready to shut my light off when a post on our private Facebook Haiti adoption page got my attention. It was a post from the Director of our adoption agency and she shared a photo and asked all of us adoptive families to pray that a forever home could be found. I looked at this photo and immediately something happened in my heart. Out of nowhere I was so overcome with emotion, I had tears streaming down my face, just from this one photo.
Once I stopped the tears, I got out of bed and showed the photo to Clayton who was watching tv in the living room. He smiled when he saw the picture and commented on how cute it was. We went to bed and I prayed a forever home would be found. The next day I could not stop thinking about this photo. I looked at it several times through out the day and I wish I could express the emotions I felt every single time I looked at it. Later that afternoon I texted Clayton and asked if he would mind if I emailed our Haiti Director asking for more info about the picture. He immediately texted back saying that it was fine. We have been in the adoption process for 18 months and have NEVER done anything like this. I had never asked Clayton this question before so I honestly did not know what he would say but I just knew I needed to ask. I have heard so many heartbreaking stories, seen so many pictures of precious kiddos who need to be adopted but NO picture had ever affected me like this one. I sent the email asking for more info and went back to packing.
We were packing to go camping for the weekend and I was so consumed with this picture that I eventually had to stop packing and go to my favorite place to pray. I knelt down and prayed for God's wisdom. Were these feelings from Him? Why was I being an emotional basket case? How did He want to use this picture in our lives? After praying for awhile, I had the confirmation from God that we needed to pursue a little more. Ask more questions. Get more information.
We left to go camping for the weekend and we were setting the tent up when I got an email back with more information. Jett and Keira were running around the campsite playing while I read the email. I was immediately fighting the tears away. My heart was now truly broken. Now that we had this info all I could ask was, "what do we do with it God?" Over the last 18 months of waiting for our Little Man, I have prayed that God would give me the same maternal instincts and love for our Little Man that I have for my biological children. I kept wondering to myself if what I was feeling was because this photo was meant for me?! Was this the maternal instinct and love that I had been praying for? I prayed the entire time we were camping and the following week Clayton and I prayed frequently asking God for direction and wisdom.
When our home-study was completed back in August 2014, we were approved for 1 little boy, aged 1 to 3 years old. We needed to update our home-study by the end of August 2015 in order to keep it current and after this picture, we wanted to make the necessary changes just in case God was asking us to pursue any further. To have our home-study changed in order to be approved for the faces in the picture would be extremely difficult! We knew it would be only God who could make this happen! You see, the picture that I saw was nothing like what we imagined our "Little Man" would look like. The precious faces in the photo that stole my heart were 2 brothers, who are 10 & 11 yrs old! Only God!!
We were right in the middle of leading a marriage study with our Lifegroup called, "You and Me Forever" by Francis & Lisa Chan when all of this was happening. This marriage study is pretty much the main reason we were even considering pursuing these boys. Francis & Lisa Chan had hit me to my core about what I believed my life looked like as a Christian and what I was spending my life pursuing. Was I going to spend my life focused on myself and my families happiness or was I going to pursue serving and loving God first and foremost. If God was to ask you to do something hard, would you trust Him over your fears about how your family would be affected by this service to God? It really challenged me in such a good way. Hence, we are in this situation being presented with the biggest decision of our entire lives. Would we be willing to trust God through adopting 2 older boys even though there were so many reasons to be afraid and say no?! !
I felt God telling me to seek wise Godly counsel so I stayed after church and spoke to my Pastors wife, Cindy Beall. My goodness, she is such a Godly woman! I knew she would give me wisdom straight from God. I explained what was going on and she listened intently and then she told me to ask God for one word, a promise that I could stand on. A one word promise, not a huge explanation saying 'why' He wanted us to do this but, one word that would give clarity. She gave me other bits of advice but the 'one word' was what God had stand out to me. I had tears rolling down my face as we spoke and then she hugged me and prayed. That night and then the next morning I prayed specifically asking God for one word. While sitting on the couch with my Bible open, the most incredible moment with God took place. Not only did He quietly whisper one word, but He gave me a specific Bible verse and I kid you not, the second He gave me my word and verse, the next 2 songs on my radio were 100% about the word He had given me! Talk about an answer straight from God!
Over the last 8 weeks we have had some pretty big obstacles to overcome if God wanted us to pursue the boys. We had to complete more training, submit lots of paperwork and spend hours on phone calls and at Dr appointments. All this just to see if this is truly what God wanted for our family.
This past week we got the answer we have been praying and waiting for. It was a YES!! We have been approved and are now allowed to pursue our boys! We are so excited to share that we are officially pursuing our 'Little Men Meyer'!!
We do know their names and have 1 photo of them but are not allowed to share them. We love their Haitian names and have no intention of changing them. They are losing absolutely everything they know and we do not want to take their names from them as well. We do not know when we will get to go meet them or when they will be home but we do know it will be in Gods timing. We have A LOT of money to raise and save now that we have 2 kiddos to bring home and are praying that God will provide every single dollar we need.
We are currently waiting to get the official copy of our updated home-study which should arrive this week and then we will be able to submit the request to change our immigration form in order to adopt 2 children. Once that immigration form is signed and translated, our dossier will be submitted to the IBESR! Once in the IBESR, we wait until they issue us a formal 'referral' for the boys. Right now what we have is a 'soft referral.' Once the referral is issued, Clayton and I will travel immediately to Haiti to meet the boys and spend about 15 days bonding with them! We are not allowed to have any contact with our Little Men until we have a formal referral. We are hopeful that because they are older waiting children, our dossier will be expedited. Clayton and I are so very excited to begin this next chapter in our lives! We hate that they have to spend another day living in an orphanage but we are trusting in God's timing, not ours.
- Our Little Men's safety, well-being and that they would have loving nannies to care for them until we can bring them home.
- For Clayton to get additional contract work so we can add more money to the adoption jar.
- That God would provide every dollar we need to finalize our adoption but also for the strength and emotional support we need while we wait.
- For Clayton and I as we train and prepare for the intense care the boys will need once they are home and transitioning to a new family, culture and new everything!
- That our dossier would be processed quickly and with no errors.