I AM by Crowder
There's no space that His love can't reach
There's no place where we can't' find peace
There's no end to amazing grace
Take me in with Your arms spread wide
Take me in like an orphan child
Never let go
Never leave my side
I am
Holding on to You
I am
Holding on to You
In the middle of the storm
I am holding on
Love like this
Oh my God to find
I am overwhelmed
With a joy divine
Love like this sets our hearts on fire
This is my resurrection song
This is my halleluiah come
This is why it's to You I run
There's no space that His love can't reach
There's no place where we can't find peace
There's no end to amazing grace
The last 5 days I have been struggling BIG time with pain control. To say that I have been miserable is such an understatement. I hadn't slept more than 4 hours in days and am waking up constantly in the night due to pain. Once awake, I am unable to get comfortable enough to get back into a deep sleep. My pain has been dictating what activities I can do and unfortunately, affecting my attitude. I have had zero appetite for days as well. The pain makes me so nauseous and I cannot eat. I wanted to go shopping with my husband this weekend but I was stuck in the house. I honestly cannot remember the last time I stayed in my pajamas past noon, let alone an entire day. This past Sunday I was in my pajamas the entire day. I was to miserable to even take a shower and get dressed. Clayton got Keira down for a nap and then took Jett shopping for a couple hours so I could have some quiet time. I crawled in bed to take a nap and try to sleep the pain away but I couldn't sleep. The pain was throbbing so bad I could not stop the tears. I got up out of bed, sat in my Bible study chair and wrote out verse after verse that spoke about God never leaving me when life gets hard. I read my Bible, read my Bible study books and prayed. While the pain didn't lessen, my attitude changed. I had so much more hope and courage after my quiet time with God.
The fact that I am having surgery in 10 days is also looming over me. I have been through nerve surgery several times now and am fully aware what to expect the recovery to be like. The pain will be extremely intense the first week and then over the next 3 months it should taper off. Just knowing that the pain I am experiencing now is nothing compared to what it will be the first week after surgery gets my heart racing. This upcoming surgery will be surgery #9 on my foot/leg. My body doesn't bounce back like it used to after the first couple surgeries. Plus, I now have 2 kiddos to care for. All that to say, when I heard this song today it gave me such an overwhelming peace.
Why do I allow myself to get all overwhelmed and freaked out when all I need to do is just chill, hit my knees and pray?
God offers us peace no matter what storm we are facing. There is no place His love can't reach! We are all going through different season's of life and different storms. Every morning I wake up, I have to ask God for the strength to enjoy the day He has created, I need Him to give me grace and love to extend to my husband and 2 kiddos. I don't want to waste a single day because I am not guaranteed tomorrow. While I am not physically able to get up and play tag with my kiddos or go for walks with them, I am able to read to them. I am capable of teaching them Bible verses. I can snuggle them in bed or even crawl on the floor chasing after them while making funny animal sounds. There is so much I can do but sometimes it seems easier to focus on what I can't do.
I want to encourage myself and you to be intentional. Don't live life discouraged by the storm you are experiencing. Reach out to God, spend time on your knees before our Mighty King and open His word! Peace is available no matter what season or storm we are experiencing. God is always with you and He will never leave!
I get excited just knowing that I never know when my next 'God moment' is going to come.
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