Friday, October 10, 2014

Donuts, Trains and Parenting.

Being a Mama is hard.  I have been a stay at home Mama for a little over 4 years.  I quit my full time job 2 weeks before my son Jett was due to be born.  Those 2 weeks were such a relaxing time.  I literally floated around our pool on a floaty every single day until he was born.  I knew that in 2 weeks, my life would never be the same and that I would not be able to spend alone time like that for awhile.  

Fast forward 4 years...  Alone time is rare! Being alone is like going on a mini-vacation even if its to go grocery shopping at Target.   I found this quote on Pinterest and just loved it.

I absolutely LOVE being a Mama and am so grateful for the privilege of staying home with my 2 kiddos.  This morning was a very challenging morning with my son.  Rather than allow myself to get all worked up and discipline in a way that was not beneficial, we got dressed and got in the car.  We drove to our favorite donut shop drive-thru and then went to look for diesel trains.  My son is a train fanatic!  We have our own special location where we go to sit in the car and watch the big orange BNSF trains.  It was amazing how a donut and looking for trains completely transformed both of our attitudes.  It cost me $2 in donuts and maybe $3 in gas. A $5 transformation.  After our little excursion it was time for school so I dropped him off at Pre-k.  He gave me a huge hug, a smooch and said multiple times 'I love you more Mama!" 

There are times when I do need to buckle down and discipline.  There are other times when my son does not need me harping on him and lecturing him about every wrong decision he makes.  I have made so many mistakes as a parent and I know I will make many more.  There is no such thing as a perfect parent.  We are all human, we make mistakes and are emotional creatures who overreact and yell.  

During my first pregnancy I made the foolish mistake of saying "my child will not act like that."  Oh my word!  Why did I say that?!  You are delusional if you think your child is going to be perfect or is not going to throw fits.  They will act up, they will make bad decisions in public and sometimes do things that completely baffle you!  It is how YOU the parent reacts and disciplines that determines how frequently you will see that behavior. 

I take King Solomon's advice very seriously as a parent.
Proverbs 22:6  "Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it. 
Proverbs 13:24 "Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them."

I love my children so much, I love them enough to discipline them so they will hopefully grow up to be respectable adults who are a joy to be around.  I want my children to love Jesus and have a heart to serve Him however they can.  I am learning to discipline to the heart of my kiddos.  I discipline according to their personalities and behavior, not how my friends might be disciplining their kiddos or how our parents may have disciplined us.  We are all different and have different personalities.  That does not mean that as a parent I should be weak or tolerant of rude behavior or behavior that could cause harm to himself, his sister or others.  We so often forget that we have to train our children to be good!  They are born with a sin nature and will not instantly become a kind considerate adult on their own.  Its daily training as a parent that will help cultivate a heart that wants to be kind and considerate.  It is a hard job and not one to be taken lightly.  

I want to encourage other Mama's and Daddy's to step it up! Discipline your children as an act of love, not anger and frustration.  That is not always easy to do, I know!  So often I need to take a moment, collect my thoughts and then discipline.  If I am angry, I am not disciplining with love.  My children are such a precious gift and I never want them to think otherwise.  I am so happy to be their Mama and it is ok to get frustrated but it is not ok to take that frustration out on them.   I am so grateful that God made me aware of my attitude before I let it get the best of our morning.  My act of love toward my son calmed him down and completely transformed our time this morning.  I am not saying that you should reward bad behavior but sometimes, we all just need a donut to help us relax and remember what is really important in life.  

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