Wednesday, January 4, 2017

14 Years of Marriage Has Changed My Idea of "Romantic"

January 4th is a special day in my world. The day that I said, "I do" to my man, Clayton.

14 years ago today, I stood on my Dad's arm, waiting for the doors to open for me to walk down the aisle to Clayton.  Right before the wedding march began, my Dad asked me if I was nervous. I smiled and said, "Nope!"
I honestly was not nervous about walking down the aisle to be married. The thought of, "til death do we part" was not scary to me, it was exciting. I was a few feet away from beginning the chapter of my life that was handwritten by God. I was marrying the man God crafted for me and me alone. That was not scary- it was amazing and exciting!

From the moment Clayton and I started "talking" way back in the day, I always knew he was the one I wanted to marry.  I knew it when he was flirting with another girl at our college and I made it pretty clear when I had enough of that! So, I did something I had never done before. I took the lead and made my intentions for him blazingly obvious while we were out to eat with a group of friends. What I did was pretty risky and so completely out of the norm for me, that he raised his eye brows, looked across the table at me with a shocked expression and then erupted with a big ol' grin, just for me. Keep in mind, the other girl was sitting right next to him at the table. My heart was pounding, but I knew it was my time to man up and get the job done, before I lost my chance.  Good news is, it worked! Fast forward 2.5 years and I was standing in a fluffy white dress next to my Dad.

I wish I could go back to the bride standing behind the closed doors, waiting for the wedding march to start and tell her a couple things about the journey she was beginning with her man.  The number one thing I would tell her is this; pray for your man every single day, even when you don't want to.  DO IT! Your man needs your prayers more than you will ever understand.  Second, your idea of romance will soon change. Embrace it!

In the beginning, being romantic is easy.  Jewelry, gifts, designer purses and fancy dinners are romantic and fun, but they are not the pinnacle of romance.

                     Self-Sacrifice is the most romantic thing your spouse could ever do!

Over the past 14 years of marriage, Clayton has done some pretty outstanding, romantic things. But honestly, the most romantic thing he has ever done was this past November, when we were leaving Haiti.  Our 2 week bonding trip with our 3 sons had come to an end and after we hugged and kissed our 3 #littlemenmeyer goodbye, we walked back to the room we were staying in and just held each other and sobbed. That moment remains the most romantic moment ever.  My man had obeyed God's leading our family to these 3 older boys (17,13 & 11) in Haiti, even when family and friends advised us not to do it. Clayton said YES, and because of that, we had just had the most amazing 2 weeks of my entire life, getting to know our 3 new sons.  His obedience showed me a new meaning of romance, a self-sacrifice that I had never before seen.  Clayton was willing to give up a lot, in order to follow God's leading to our sons.  As we stood there in that room, hugging each other and sobbing, both our hearts were now broken for God in a fresh way.  Leaving our 3 sons caused our hearts to break together in a way we have never experienced, and it was very emotional and sad, but very beautiful too.

Over the past 14 years, we have walked hand in hand through 6 miscarriages, infertility, the birth of 2 healthy babies, 2 job losses, my 10 foot/leg surgeries due to 11 years of chronic nerve pain, a 39 month adoption journey (that is not over yet) and now we've crossed an ocean to meet our 3 new sons.

As I think back to that conversation with my Dad, I would still answer my Dad the exact same way. What I said then is still true today: I am not nervous about my future with Clayton, I am dog-gone excited and I trust God with our future.

1 comment:

  1. You're the best, Kimmy! I wouldn't know what to do without you. Love you!